


Shut Up

by tr4shm0uthc0r3



Series: MCYT FICS [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Im so sorry this is flat out just me torturing him, Panic Attacks, Platonic Relationships, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Tommy-centric, Wilbur Soot is Sort of a Dick in This I am Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:35:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29015940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tr4shm0uthc0r3/pseuds/tr4shm0uthc0r3
Summary: “You know you have to shut up for this right?” Wilbur spoke loudly directly into his mic, “we want to make a good impression and no offense but your jokes aren't exactly set up for that.”“Yeah Toms, just this once,” Tubbo hesitates before surging forward, “we need you to shut off your personality, sort of, for this.”ortommy gets told to shut up
Relationships: Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: MCYT FICS [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128656
Comments: 13
Kudos: 245





	Shut Up

**Author's Note:**

> Uhh heyyyyy babes  
> this is a break from my series because i cant figure out how to write smth  
> it was meant to be max 1k words but i went overboard  
> thank u charlie you saved me by betaing this and catching the mess ups <3333  
> THIS IS ABOUT THEIR MF PERSONAS THIS IS NOT AN ACCURATE REP OF THESE CHARACTERS I AINT ASSUMIN SHIT ABOUT THEM WILBUR IS SUPER NICE THIS IS VERY OOC FOR THESE PEOPLE XOXO

“You know you have to shut up for this right?” Wilbur spoke loudly directly into his mic, “we want to make a good impression and no offense but your jokes aren't exactly set up for that.”

“Yeah Toms, just this once,” Tubbo hesitates before surging forward, “we need you to shut off your personality, sort of, for this.”

They're avoiding his eyes.

At least they know it’s a shit to thing to ask of him, regardless of how he feels about himself.

“Yeah, of course. No problem.” he forces his smile and his energetic voice. He knows he’s annoying, of course Tommy knows he’s annoying! It's pretty much his entire brand!

But damn if it didn’t fucking hurt to be told that he needs to lose his entire goddamned personality to appeal to someone who’d eventually find it, honestly, did they expect him to never speak again?

He wouldn’t be surprised if they wanted him to shut up for real, he was constantly told to  _ shut the fuck up Tommy no one cares why are you so loud you need to stop just stop its annoying shut up- _ it's not like this would be anything new for him, it's not like it was anything he hadn't already told himself.

“And Tommy?” Wilburs lost all of the reluctance that was in his tone from before, reassured by Tommys fake smiles.

“Yeah?” Jesus Christ there was more, there had to be more, there’s always more that’s expected of him.

“Can you maybe just, you know,” he grimaces, bracing for what he thinks will be a loud outburst of arguments, “not talk? Obviously not entirely, but if you could just not talk much, I think that'd help a lot with good impressions.”

Theres a dead silence as Tommy processes what Wilbur just asked of him. It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does.

Tubbos glancing back between the two windows on his screen, he looks resigned to calming Tommy down.

“Okay,” he pauses, smiling again, “I can do that, we want to make sure they like us, it'd be way too hard if I tried to joke around and shit, I guess.”

“Yeah, exactly Tommy!” Tubbo sounds uncomfortable as hell with the situation, obviously forcing himself to be relatively cheery.

Good.

He should be uncomfortable because seriously? Asking him to shut up? The entire fucking time? Not to mention the “turn your personality off” thing, that alone was fucked up.

“Don't worry I can just play the silent game or some shit, we can get a fuckin buzzer it'll be poggers.” With that, he hangs up on the call, holding the smile for a few seconds just in case things take a moment to shut off.

You know, when he picked up the call to plan for the call tomorrow this was not what he expected

He expected them to fuck around and figure out who exactly would be playing among us with them.

He did not fucking expect them to say something like that and he definitely didn’t expect to agree with how they described him. He thought the same of himself but not in such an intense way, not the way Wilbur and Tubbo seemed to like of him.

Tommy really did not like agreeing with them.

He didn’t think he was all that bad.

Maybe a bit loud and a bit overwhelming at times but not annoying constantly.

Maybe he was annoying, maybe they were just trying to help, it couldn’t hurt to shut up for a bit.

Maybe it was properly for the best.

There are a lot of maybes in his head and none of them are answering the issue of if this was a shit thing to ask or not.

It wouldn’t have been requested of him if it wasn’t for the best, Tubbo and Wil care about him too much to just say something like that without good reason.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's for the best and they just wanted him to make a good impression, it wasn’t meant to be rude the way he’d first taken all of it, it wasn’t meant to hurt or anything.

Right, yeah, he’d definitely just taken it all too harshly, they didn’t mean anything bad.

Things are fine and his friends care and he definitely is not panicking and he definitely, definitely can still breathe without feeling like he was dying because he knows his friends care and there’s no reason for him to spiral like this over his friends trying to be helpful, he’s okay, he’s absolutely fine.

He’s okay and he’s not about to pass out and he’s not hitting the ground and he can breathe and he’s fine and he’s grounding himself and he’s okay because he knows how to ground himself and he knows he’s okay because he is okay, now he’s perfectly okay because its passed and he knows he’s being silly and dramatic and they were trying to help him and it makes it all okay.

“You’re okay, you're fine and you’re safe and they care.” It’s a whisper, it could barely even be called that but it is grounding and he’ll try just about anything to ground himself right now, he hates this and he’ll take anything to stop it.

He’s okay.

He’s okay but Jesus Christ its late and he’s not really okay and he’s really fucking tired and out of those two, he can handle the second one far easier.

He’s tired and he has to be up at a decent time to talk to the new streamer (who even was it? They never got to telling him much about them) and it'd be hell if he wasn’t at least sort of rested.

I mean, it'd be hell either way.

But even more so if he had to try and hold himself together while half asleep.

Tommy laughs at the thought, Jesus, imagine trying to deal with a  bitchboy of a new friend, while half asleep and still mildly upset, that wouldn’t go well at all, even he could  tell that much about this. 

So, he goes to sleep.

He tries at least.

Its nearly midnight and he  has to be up around eight and its nearly fuckin midnight and he’s been laying here for an hour staring at his goddamn ceiling and he can’t  fucking sleep.

It really isn't that he isn't fuckin tired, it's just that he’s  tense and he’s worried about fuckin up tomorrow for everyone, there’s too many thoughts, far too many thoughts to let him sleep easily.

He lays there and he thinks and he’s trying to avoid a breakdown like earlier and eventually the panic subsides and exhaustion wins out and he’s gone.

______________________________

It’s morning now and it doesn’t matter that he basically got eight hours of sleep, Tommy is fucking exhausted and everything is annoying to him.

Nothing about last night was good, from the way Wilbur and Tubbo were, to his fucking panic attack to the shitty fuckin nightmares that he had to deal with all night.

None of it was good and he was so fuckin tired.

And he had to deal with someone new and all of his friends, all at once.

At least he wasn’t streaming this. The original plan involved him streaming but when he thought it over, he decided that maybe not talking would seem strange for the chat and he didn’t really want anyone questioning it, he hadn't thought of a way to deflect it all yet.

Maybe he could say he was sick, that'd worked before when he was too tired of keeping up his persona to stream properly, everyone went with it, and while he felt bad for lying, it worked really well for everything.

Whatever, not important right now.

What was important was that he was ten minutes late on a day he was meant to make a good impression and he didn't know if apologizing for being late would count as talking in a bad way.

Tommy didn’t even have discord pulled up yet and he was already ten minutes late and they were going to be so fuckin pissed because he’s always goddamned late but.

He wasn’t always late, he was usually early, something just went wrong and he was spiraling and now that Tommys recognized it he can make sure he’s okay, he can calm himself and he’ll be okay but Jesus it’s taking him so long and now he’s nearly half an hour late but at least his discord was up, same for among us, he was set and ready to join the call. Even if he was late, he was there.

He clicks vc2, where Wilbur and Tubbo and Dream and everyone else already was.

“Hey, hi, hello everyone, big man Mr. T is here, sorry for joining your dumbasses late, I had some big man shit to do” As soon as the beep signaling his connection is up, he rushes to get his joking apology out, not wanting to hold things up even more but unwilling to act all mild and quiet.

In the time between waking up and nearly losing it he decided it was ridiculous for his friends to tell him to stop talking, if this new dude really cared that much then he could say something directly to Tommy or stop playing with them, it was honestly insane to expect a complete personality shift, all for the sake of one person.

“Hello Tommy, thanks for joining us.”  Dreams voice is harsher than he expected, and as Tommys smile sinks he’s reminded of how fuckin glad he is that he’s not streaming and doesn’t have his camera on.

Dreams the only one to acknowledge Tommy, everyone else immediately turning back to their conversation. Hes more hurt than he should be, of course they’d go back to their conversation.

It couldn’t have hurt to just say hi though, could it?

Not the time to think about this, he was going to have a good day and stay off thoughts that’d make him feel shitty.

Hes excited to play a game with his friends, especially if no one's streaming, because then he doesn’t have to be as ridiculously excitable as his persona is. Don’t get him wrong, Tommy loves streaming, he’s constantly energetic but he ramps it the hell up on camera, it's no fun to watch if he doesn’t and it’s insanely tiring to do for hours on end.

He tries to cut into the conversation a few times but no one acknowledges him other than a few random shushes, so he resigns himself to waiting until the game starts to get involved.

It's not overly disappointing, they’ll listen during the game itself, it's just a bit of a bother and it supports his stupid brain telling him that he’s annoying, but he reminds himself he isn't annoying, these are his friends and they’ve just gotten overly wrapped up into the conversation, everything is fine, he just has to wait till the game starts and they’ll all be able to fall into their usual dynamics.

Hes hyped himself up, and he’s all happy again.

Until he hears a quick succession of notifications from his  dms .

Six messages in a row, all from Wilbur. 

Does he really wanna check them? It can't be important or Wil would’ve told him to check his messages on the call.

But what if it was important and Wilbur just didn’t want anyone to know.

Reluctantly he clicks the icon and is greeted by a seemingly very pissed Wilbur.

_ Tommy why the fuck did you say that _

_ We agreed you weren't going to talk  _

_ Or did you forget that, like you apparently forgot we were doing this  _

_ The point of this was to make a good impression _

_ You came in late and then swore at everyone? _

_ Seriously dude?  _

He winces at the messages, muting himself just in case, before typing out a response to Wilbur.

**_ Sorry Wil, I got distracted and forgot, I'll stay quiet for the rest, is that okay? _ **

He can practically hear Wilburs disappointed sigh as his name pops up typing.

_ Fine just, don’t fuck this up for the rest of us _

**_ I won't, sorry  _ **

He lets out the breath that he’d been holding since he noticed Wilburs messages pop up.

Tommy thinks it all over, weighing his options.

Talk and risk pissing off Wilbur or resign himself to a miserable hour or two.

Second option.

Definitely the second one.

Pissed Wilbur is something he very much so does not appreciate at all.

He'll just be quiet, he’s tired anyways, he can just participate next time when its less important to come off well, it'll all be way chiller then, definitely.

He clicks to unmute and finally starts paying proper attention the conversation, realizing they're about to start a round and he’s not logged in. Tommy hurries to join the game, barely making it into the lobby before they press start.

He doesn’t linger on the thoughts that accompany the initial reaction of _ why didn’t they check that I was in?  _ this is neither the time nor place to lose it, he’d probably just get made fun of by everyone.

Without him noticing the games started. They’re playing with their mics on the entire time which at least makes it easier for him to try and join the conversation without being too much of an  annoyance, that’s good, right?

Tommy doesn’t talk much the first round; he died early in and couldn’t think of anything to say when they weren't talking directly about the game and didn’t want to just shove his way into being included.

The next few rounds were better, but people were getting louder and normally, normally that wouldn’t bother him but he couldn’t contribute at all and when he tried, he got spoken over or ignored completely, it was getting to be too much.

He stayed in the call and in the game, he couldn’t just leave, it'd make Wilbur so much more annoyed with him and given the cold welcome he’d gotten from Dream, it'd only make him angry as well.

So, he stayed and he played the game and he enjoyed his time listening to his friends, his entire world talking, even if he couldn’t participate and even if he felt like everyone there hated him. He sat there in silence and it felt like he was drowning and when he tried to fix it, tried to speak up and maybe have a better time all he got was a harsh  _ shut up _ from dream and the stupid disappointed sighs from Tubbo and Wilbur. 

He kept playing, he stayed silent and waited for someone to notice that, hey, Tommys not talking, there's gotta be something wrong, I wonder what’s up, but that moment never came and he continued being ignored besides his few further attempts to speak up and the shushing that came with it.

It got overwhelming and he couldn’t handle it, everyone was getting too loud and laughing and it felt like they were laughing at him, even if logically, that made no sense.

So, he left the call and left the game directly after that.

He knew it'd piss off Wil and maybe Dream and absolutely would make Tubbo a bit cold towards him for a bit but honestly fuck them for the moment, he was sobbing over the stimulation and everything felt like it was too much and seriously, they weren't his friends if they’d treat him like that, friends really don’t do that.

Tommy didn’t actually believe that of course, but he was so fuckin panicky and upset and you can't reason with someone as far gone as he was in the panic.

He’s on the floor and he has his headphones back on, deafening the world around him as he tries to calm himself down. Normally he’d call Wilbur and Tubbo and they’d know what was up and they’d calm him but they were probably still playing with their brand-new friend who was far less annoying than he was and they would laugh at him for getting so upset and.

No, no, no. 

Bad thoughts.

Tommys shaking his head hard, as if he can just shake the thoughts away and he gets back onto his chair and opens up discord again.

Vc2 is empty, everyone's hung up by now so he opens the dms from Wilbur and Tubbo and Dream. Wilburs are just angry, telling him to text him and then join the vc so they can talk, Tubbos are roughly the same and Tommy is scared, he’s never made Tubbo properly angry with him.

Dreams are, somehow, the most uncomfortable, he sounds concerned, asking if Tommy’s okay, asking if he needs to talk, a complete switch from the harshness from earlier. Hes typed a quick response to everyone before joining his vc, vc2 again, waiting for Wilbur and Tubbo, camera on this time.

Its only moments before Wilburs joined, camera on as well and Jesus Christ its terrible, he looks so fucking pissed and then Tubbo joins, face full of disappointment and honestly, that’s so, so much worse, that Tubbos not fucking angry with him, he’s just upset and he’s already started to shrink into himself, away from his monitor, away from the glares Wilburs sending his way.

He opens his mouth, ready to talk and defend himself but Wilbur cuts him off before he can even start.

“Tommy don’t even try it right now. I asked one fucking thing of you, one fucking thing and you promised and you couldn’t follow through? I had to explain that oh, no, Tommys fucking great he just gets a bit spacey sometimes because I thought you would be there soon but, no, no you had to show up thirty minutes late,” Wilbur pauses for a second, face flushed as he stares Tommy down.

“I-” he’s trying again, it’s the opposite of what he knows he should do but Tommy really can't just sit there and fuckin take the anger Wilburs throwing at him, can he?

This time its Tubbo that cuts him off.

“Shut up Tommy, honestly, just once, listen to us.” he sounds exhausted from everything but Tommy doesn’t miss how serious he sounds, as if he wants Tommy to shut up for real, not even just for that stupid call.

Wilbur takes the open moment to start talking again before he’s interrupted by the sound of someone else joining the call.

Its Dream and Dream, obviously has his camera off but Tommy can tell that he’s staring at the corner of his screen that’s full of a silently sobbing Tommy, a Tommy whose hands are shaking over his mouth, trying to shut himself up. He can hear the breath that gets taken in at how he looks and he can fuckin tell that he doesn’t know what's happening but he’ll be on Wilburs side because everyone always takes Wilburs side over his

“What the fuck is going on here.”  Dreams voice is strained and he sounds about to snap.

Wilburs shocked out of whatever words he was reaching for, but pulls himself back together just as quickly, staring into his camera.

“It’s nothing that matters to you, this is our conversation.” His voice is stronger than Dreams, and Tommys left wondering why Dream didn’t hang up the moment he saw how pissed Wil was.

“You know Wilbur, this really doesn’t look like nothing,” Dream is still obviously tensed and Tommy folds himself smaller, knowing he’ll be the target of that anger, “Tommy fuckin sobbing because of whatever you're saying to him doesn’t seem like nothing.”

Tommys eyes snap back up to his monitor at that, terrified of how Wilburs going to react to that and cutting in before anything bad can happen.

“Dream, big man, its fine, don’t worry, I fucked something up and Wilburs just helping” his voice is shaky and hard to believe but he stares, pleading at his camera, wanting Dream to leave and forget he saw Tommy this upset. 

“Yeah man,  Wilburs just talking to us, don’t worry about it.”  Tubbo laughs, far too light for someone who was just letting Wilbur rip into his best friend, far too light for someone who'd told Tommy to shut up only minutes ago.

“You sure?” The question is aimed at Tommy but Wilbur answers for him and Dream leaves and Tommys left alone with Wilbur and Tubbo again.

Wilbur looks like he’s about to start yelling again but asks Tubbo to leave first, said boy doing so immediately, saying a quick goodbye and disconnecting in a hurry.

“Tommy seriously. You need to learn to shut up, you know you're annoying, why did you have to fuck with our day like that?” Most of the anger is gone, but he can still feel the danger in the tone, can feel how careful he’ll have to be in his responses.

“I know Wil, I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to be late today and,” Tommy struggles his way through most of his sentence before Wilbur interrupts, speaking loudly over him.

“Just don’t fuck this up for us again. We’re all going to be calling for the next few days and it's going to be the same deal as today, just, don’t mess up, got it?” Wilbur sounds far too neutral now, like he couldn’t care less about Tommy and somehow that hurts worse than anything else said to him.

He nods, and he pulls himself tighter and he tries to stop the tears and Wilbur disconnects, leaving Tommy alone in the call, crying silently and fighting panic from the shouting and harsh words.

He pulls himself together, forces the feelings down and leaves the vc, checking the several dms he’d gotten from Dream after he left the call.

He can't make himself read any of them, just typing out a quick reassurance of exactly how okay and perfectly fine he is before collapsing back into his bed for the rest of the afternoon and night, too drained from everything to edit or stream.

_____________________________

When he’s up the next day, he might actually feel worse.

Turns out going to sleep crying isn't exactly the best quality-wise. 

He had another day of calling that stupid fucking new guy and Dream and  Tubbo and.

And Wilbur.

Maybe shutting up wasn’t so bad if he could avoid angry Wilbur, he’d do just about anything to avoid that sort of thing from happening again. He’d made him angry before but not that angry and it was easily the worst experience he’s had in a long time.

So today he gets up, he gets dressed, he does all of his basic human person things and joins the call. He’s in the vc before anyone else and he’s grateful, because he can prepare for the strain of being around so many people for such a long time and then he gets interrupted.

Dream joins the call and he’s immediately frozen because now Dream is going to make him talk about yesterday and he quite honestly does not know if  TommyInnit , big man himself, can handle talking about that to someone he looks up to,

“Tommy? You there?”  Dreams voice is soft, nothing like it was yesterday, “I just wanted to talk about what Wilbur did, I won't make you do anything.”

Tommy laughs nervously, racing through different lies about what could've happened that would've explained him having a panic attack as Wilbur screams at him.

“I told you big man, I fucked some shit up, Wilbur just got a bit upset about things, I fixed it don’t worry.” he says everything too fast and he can tell from the dead silence that Dream didn’t really believe him, or at least knew he wasn’t telling the whole truth about everything.

The two  sit in tense silence for a few minutes and right as Tommy works up the nerve to fill the quiet, Dream speaks.

“Dude, you're going to tell me the truth or I'm going to ban you from today's call.” He sounds serious and it's so close to how Wilbur sounds when he’s disappointed and Tommy absolutely cannot handle that right then and he cracks and he’s crying.

Jesus, why does he cry so easily lately, he’s the confident big man, he shouldn’t cry this easy but here he is sobbing in a fuckin chair at his fuckin desk on call with someone who's pretending to care.

“Tommy? What's up, what happened?” Dream sounds slightly panicky and Tommy tries to choke back his sobs because he doesn’t deserve that concern, he shouldn’t be making someone stress like this over him, “Tommy, man, I need a response, c'mon, I'm trying to help but I really don’t know what to do right now.”

Issue here is Tommy can't speak, he’s too far gone for verbal words, but he can pull himself together enough to type, so he does, he sets steps for what he needs to do and he follows them, he opens Dreams dms and types out a quick  **_ panic attack _ ** as a message before pulling back into himself.

He can hear Dream whisper the words to himself and then go dead silent. Hes trying to work himself up to just hang up on the call, he’s obviously made Dream uncomfortable and that wasn’t his goal, but of course, he’d fucked it up and mistaken Dream just being weirded out for concern, and honestly, he should just go and leave everyone alone and he’s about to click the leave call button, but then Dream speaks.

“Hey Toms, I don’t know what’s triggered this but I’m here Tommy, can you listen to me? We still have a bit before everyone else gets on, we have time for you to calm down, okay?” His voice has gotten even softer and while its appreciated, Tommy doesn’t like being treated as if he’s fragile.

“I'm fine Dream,” he pauses, trying to force the words out, fighting the urge to just leave the call and hide, “I'm fine, I'm sorry for this."

Dreams quick to reassure him that he’s got nothing to apologize for, and speaking softly into his mic, making sure he’s okay until Tommys slightly sort of back to normal, or, at least more capable of speaking. 

It's wonderful timing that when Dream finally turns the conversation back to Wilbur, back to the stupid fucking tears, someone joins the call.

Of course, it's not perfect timing as said someone is Wilbur who's first words to Tommy are warning him to  _ shut the hell up _ on the call later.

He hasn’t noticed that Dreams on the call until Dream tells  _ him  _ to shut up.

“You have zero place saying that to Tommy, Wilbur.” The barely contained rage from yesterday seeps back into  Dreams voice.

Wilburs laughing at Dream now, “I'm helping him, just ask him yourself, Tommy knows I'm  doing the right thing here.”

“Tommy?” Dreams hesitant to ask, as if he knows how Tommys going to respond.

Hes only just calmed down and Wilbur joining the call made the anxiety skyrocket, but he couldn’t leave they’ve just asked him a direct question.

“I’m um,” he hesitates, he’d love the defense offered by Dream but Wilbur was right about him needing to shut up so, “it's okay, sorry, he’s right, its fine.”

He can hear the sharp intake from Dream and Wilbur's quiet laugh when he says that and all he wants to do is  cry again but he can't, there's only a few minutes left till everyone else is supposed to join and he can't make Dream  talk him back down, he’s sure to get annoyed.

“Told you Dream, he thinks it's good and honestly, you should stop pretending it's not,” Wilbur pauses and Tommy can nearly hear the smile in his voice, “it's better for everyone if he shuts up, so stop lying to him.”

He can hear Dream start into Wilbur but gets cut off by a quick succession of people joining the call and greeting them. No one says shit to Tommy of course, but that’s for the best anyways.

Tommy sits there for a few hours this time, going through the motions of playing their games but completely detached from everything there. Dream pushes for a response occasionally but after getting no answer he gives up.

He feels bad for that. Tommys just sitting there and ignoring the only person who cares, and he feels shit for it because now he’s going to get angry just like Wilbur.

So, he sends a quick apology to Dream and as soon as people start leaving, he goes too, unnoticed among all the stupidly happy people.

He ignores his phone ringing when Dream and Wilbur try his real number and not just discord and passes out again, forgetting to set an alarm for the final call tomorrow.

______________________________

He wakes up late.

He wakes up more than an hour late and it might be bad to say, but he’s really fucking glad that he forgot to set up his alarms.

He’s really fucking glad until he sees the missed calls from Wilbur, and the dozens of fucking texts telling him how shitty of a friend he is and how he needs to wake the fuck up and the texts just get worse so he clears them off his screen and he moves to call Tubbo before remembering that hey, Tubbo was one of the ones to be an absolute prick.

Sure, he was a bit less bad than Wilbur but he didn’t  _ stop _ Wilbur and that made it just as bad.

So, he scrolls back up his contacts and calls Dream. Even if he’d been pretending to care about Tommy on call yesterday, it was more than Wilbur and Tubbo had been doing, and he was willing to take anything even if it’s fake.

He clicks Dreams name and has a moment to back out, he could just not call Dream and he could manage by himself and he’s about to click back out, but he misses and hits call and then its ringing so he can't hang up without feeling shit for being rude.

He tosses his phone away, hoping that he doesn’t pick up.

Four rings later Dream has picked up and he’s speaking quickly but he doesn’t sound angry, just concerned, and Tommy thinks it's safe to get his phone and whisper a soft hello.

“Tommy, hey are you okay? Why'd you call me?” Dream sounds genuinely scared for him and it hurts Tommy to hear, because gods he’s so shitty for worrying Dream over nothing and then he’s crying and he knows Dream can hear his choked sobs over the speaker, so he’s covering his mouth and muffling the noise.

“Tommy? I'm going to assume you can't talk again, so I'll talk until you're calm, but then I want to really go over everything?” He’s speaking slower now, as if he’s worried to startle Tommy too badly.

“Okay.” Tommy forces a response, terrified of pissing Dream off if he doesn’t respond, starting the tears even worse when he remembers he shouldn’t talk, Wilbur said he shouldn’t talk, so he stays silent and he listens to Dream.

He’s pretty sure it takes longer for Dream to calm him down this time but he’s not entirely certain as  Dreams voice and words blurred together a few minutes in, leaving him in an easier place to exist in.

“I'm okay now,” he stops for a second, considering what his options are, “I'm really sorry for everything, I shouldn’t have let you get involved and I'm sorry for making you angry and I'm sorry and please don’t get mad.”

As soon as he starts losing control, Dream stops him.

“It’s okay Tommy, you're okay, we’re going to talk about this, but tell me if it gets overwhelming, okay?”  Dreams voice is still soft and quiet through the phone, and without thinking Tommy nods, forgetting for a moment that Dream can't see him before whispering an okay.

“What was all of that about? Everything with Wilbur I mean, what was that?”

Tommy stays quiet for a moment, trying to figure out a way to lie and cover things up, he doesn’t want to just throw Wilbur under the bus like that. 

He can't figure anything out though and he’s been silent for long enough that Dream might push him for an answer.

“He wanted to make a good impression,” It's harder than he’d thought to get the words out and he does not appreciate this at all, “we both thought it'd be a bit better if I didn’t talk?”

The end curves up into a question and it betrays exactly how uncertain he is of his answers to Dream. He can hear him curse quietly over the phone and it causes Tommy to pull away from his phone slightly, worried of how angry Dream could be at him.

He can hear Dream take a deep breath as if he’s steadying himself before continuing. “Why would he ask that Tommy? And why would you even agree?”

This is a question he knows the answer to, this is something safe for him to answer, no one gets blamed but himself.

“Cuz I'm annoying big man.” Tommy laughs, trying to make it seem less bad even as he can hear Dream full stop from whatever he was about to say.

“You're not annoying.”

“Yeah, I am Dream, don’t fuck with me.” He’s still laughing but now it sounds forced and he really does not want to believe Dream here because if he believes Dream then Wilburs just been an ass this entire time and Wilburs basically his brother, he wouldn’t hurt him like that. 

“Did Wilbur tell you that?” Dream sounds like he’s trying to prove a point but Tommy can't really figure out what so he mumbles a  _ yeah sometimes _ that’s quickly cut off by Dream, “Wilburs been lying Tommy, you're not annoying.”

Tommys stuck on his bed in silence because Dream just told him he’s not annoying and Dream hasn't lied yet but if he’s telling the truth then Wilburs been wrong and Wilburs never wrong so Dreams lying but he’s not and he has to be and then he’s spiraling and Dream can probably hear his breathing stutter as he chokes on his sobs and then he’s passed out from the exhaustion of everything and he’s gone.

______________________________

When Tommy wakes up again, Dreams still on the call.

He can hear his keyboard clicking quietly and its dark outside, which means he was out the majority of the day which meant Dream had been there the majority of the day, and Tommy had made him stay on call the entire time and as soon as he comes to that thought, he’s apologizing, tripping over his words to get everything out and fix things but Dream interrupts him and its okay, it's okay, everything's okay and he’s safe and he’s calm.

“You up for a stream?” Dream falls back on the only thing he can think of to get Tommy to start talking again, and hoping it'll work out for them.

“Okay.” 

It's not enthusiastic, but it works so Dream and Tommy each set up their respective streams, hanging up their call and rejoining on discord, doing their intros together.

They really only fuck around on the SMP for a few hours, it's nice though and Tommys had to slip into his persona, so he’s talking again. Its quieter and more subdued than he normally is but he’s talking without apologies so it's okay.

It's okay until Tommy gets a stream of donos talking about how good it is that he’s finally shut up and that his quieter personality today is so much better than his usual annoying ass, and it gets even worse when the majority of chat agrees.

He’s ignoring it, mostly, until Dream asks him why he’s not responding to his donos anymore, and he doesn’t have time to just lie, Dream will see right through it.

“They’re just being dickheads, don’t worry about it.” It’s meant to sound jokey, but it just comes off short and upset and the exact opposite of how he wanted it to sound and he knows Dream will ask him what's wrong so he mutes, turns to his stream and tells them  _ give me a moment _ and turns off his facecam before going back to Dream and explaining that, “it's nothing really Dream, I'm a big man, they're just being assholes, you know how it is.”

Dream, obviously, does know how it is but it doesn’t make it okay that people are shitting on a sixteen-year-old and when he goes to check the in progress vod on Tommys page, he sees the donos and honestly, he might murder someone for being such pricks to someone he is coming to consider a younger brother.

“Tommy, ignore them, I'll go through and ban the worst of it later,” Dreams back to the comfort and softness for Tommy, “we can stop streaming now if you need to.”

“Can we?” He doesn’t want to cry, not here, not again and especially not on stream.

“Yeah of course man, lets end them really quick, it's pretty late for you anyways.”

Tommy does his quick ending, ignoring the chat yelling about how easy he is to get to, smiling into his camera and holding it stiffly until everything's for sure shut off.

He undeafens on discord and as soon as Dream notices it, he’s talking.

“Big man, thanks for streaming with me but I'm pretty sure you’ve got better things to do, you know?” he’s rushing the words out because he really doesn’t wat to be left alone but he can't just make Dream stay longer, he doesn’t want to guilt him, so he says Dream should go.

“Not leaving buddy, you're stuck with me,” Dreams laughing but sobers up quickly as he starts his next sentence, “I want to talk to Wilbur with you.”

Tommys tensed up at that, the idea of talking to Wilbur was scary, especially after he completely skipped a call today and god, Dream being on call while he got yelled at sounded like literal hell on earth.

“Okay” That is not what he meant to say, that is not what he meant to say, he meant to say no way, zero chance, why did he agree.

It's too late and Dreams inviting Wil into the call.

“Tommy, why the fuck did you skip on us like that.” is the first thing out of Wilburs mouth, not even a hello, and Tommy feels like a little kid getting reamed out by his parents, and it's terrifying.

“I'm sorry Wil, I slept in.” It's not a good enough reason, it's very far from being a good enough reason for Wilbur, but he can't think of anything else and Wilburs about to start yelling but Dream tells him to shut up.

Tommy misunderstands that one though, thinking it’s aimed at him and muting himself to avoid the risk of making any noises for the older boys to hear.

“Tommy, unmute, you didn’t do anything, I'm yelling at the bitchboy whose name is Wilbur,” Dream sounds pissed and it's not doing shit for Tommys nerves, but he unmutes and sits back up, closer to his mic so that he won't have to speak up if he decides to say anything to them. 

“Wilbur, why the fuck have you been telling him he’s annoying.” It’s not really a question, even Tommy could tell that, but Wilbur answers anyways.

“Is that even a question? It's because he’s fuckin annoying, he agrees, it's not like this is a new thing for him to hear.” Wilbur can't even fuckin sound like he regrets what he’s saying, he’s nearly laughing while he speaks and it really just hurts worse that Tommy fully agrees with it.

“Wilbur, you’re a shit fucking friend, you know that?”  Dreams voice has somehow gotten more intimidating and its freaking Tommy the hell out, so he stays quiet, just observing everything.

“What?” He has the audacity to sound  _ hurt _ at what Dream says, “I'm one of his best friends, I'm only helping here.”

Dream loses it onto Wilbur.

The next ten minutes are a blur of Dream yelling and Tommy crying and Wilbur fucking laughing, he keeps fucking laughing, until the end when Dream calms down and you can hear the tears coming from Tommy and then, only then does it seem to sink into Wilbur that he’s hurting his friend.

Never mind that, he pushed him to a breakdown a few days ago. The fucking quiet tears is what gets Wilbur to give a shit, of course it was the silent sobbing, if he’s loud it's too annoying, and Wilbur never gives a shit if he’s being annoying.

“Tommy? You okay man?” its Dream and he’s talking over Wilbur, not trusting him to say something nice to Tommy and not willing to sacrifice Tommys health for it.

“Tommys fine, he’s just whining over nothing.” Wilbur cuts into the space left for Tommy to respond and the concern that might've been there is gone.

“Yeah Dream, I'm fine, sorry.” He’s so used to going along with what Wilbur says for him that its nearly habit this time, but he wants to take it back immediately.

“Tommy, it is absolutely not okay. He’s making you cry. He’s caused fucking panic attacks, that’s not okay,” Dream pauses for a beat, waiting for the words to sink in. “Wilburs being a dickhead to you. I'm not letting him around you unless we have to do things, and even then, I want to be there to make sure he doesn’t fucking insult you like this again. Okay?”

“Okay.”

It's quiet but it's there and Tommy can hear the frustrated huff from Wilbur when he doesn’t refuse. Wil leaves the call, and Tommy’s not sure how they're going to keep up the SBI thing if  Wilburs mad at him but for now, that doesn’t matter because he’s okay and Dreams gonna help him be okay if Wilbur tries to pull this shit again.

Things are okay and Tommy is mostly fine.

It'll take a while to get him properly back to normal but it'll happen and Wilbur will apologize and everything will be okay again.

“Thank you” Tommy barely whispers it but his mics picks it up, and he knows Dream heard him and then he hangs up and he goes to sleep because he is okay and everything's okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello apologies for randomly going away for a few weeks i luv u all though  
> i finally bought mc so im playing that a lot  
> i listened 2 this almost the entire time writing it https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7pfg8wqThTwkGC7GYirF8B?si=lobPjiAtTkSZ6zbBZMbZDw  
> luv yall and i really appreciate comments/kudos they r v motivating


End file.
